Corona Loner

You can't be too careful,
When it comes to your health,
And that's why I've decided,
To stay by myself.

Others may gamble,
Or trust the Creator,
But I'll live by the mantra,
Of the Self-Isolater.

Yes, they may mock me,
And call me a loner,
But I'll have the last laugh,
When they've all got Corona.

Dating Myself

I asked myself out on a date,
And I accepted,
Which pleased me no end.
I thought I would say yes,
But one can never be sure.

It turns out we were similar,
Sharing interests and tastes,
We liked the same food,
Held matching political views.
In fact I began to wonder,
If I was just being agreeable,
In order to get me to like myself.

As the night wore on,
I came to realise,
The conversation, where it existed,
Was utterly predictable.
I had nothing to say,
That I had not already thought of myself.

Back at my front door,
It seemed I was not willing,
To simply say goodnight,
And I felt I had little option,
But to invite myself inside.

Of course we know how that ends,
The sex was average,
Nothing I'm not used to.
And I woke up next morning,
To find myself alone.